The Doctor is still in! After 25 years of promoting sexual health and empowerment for Good Vibrations, this Queen of hearts, feminist icon, and progressive leader of sex-positivity continues to go strong. Join us...
Category: Ask Carol Queen
Sex advice and questions and answers from Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen
As long as parents are essentially silent and schools provide bad sex ed that does not answer a teen’s perfectly reasonable sex questions, youth will figure that the most effective way to get questions answered is by *watching some sex*, but they will likely not absorb the message that this is scripted and directed sex, akin to watching car chase movies to learn to drive a car.
Sex is often, in our society, put into a framework that puts extraordinary focus on penile insertion into a vagina. Of course that is, for many people, a highly pleasurable and desired part of sex—but some guys who ejaculate quicker than they want to may develop especially high levels of anxiety about this because for them, intercourse is THE sexual activity, not one of many ways to enjoy sex.
Arousal gets higher and your sexual feelings more intense, until they crest or come to a climax — including a feeling of satisfaction and release. (All these terms are a bit subjective, aren’t they? That’s one reason it can be hard to grasp the reality of what an orgasm actually is. The other thing is that we so frequently hear orgasm described in metaphorical terms: firecrackers! Volcanoes! Expressive, but not really helpful.)