Behind the Good Vibrations Counter: Apaulo

Our Sex Educator-Sales Associates are the folks you see on the sales floor or on the phones here at Good Vibrations. They’re full of amazing information, useful suggestions, and helpful tips & tricks to make your sex life better. And since I get to meet all of them, I can tell you that they’re some of the most awesome folks you could meet! So here’s what Apaulo had to say about being a SESA!

1) Being a Good Vibrations SESA isn’t like any other job. What inspired you to become one?

I want to “Be the change I want to see in the world.”  I had negative experiences growing up being queer and transgender.  I was not taught important things about sex and gender and I think it prolonged my growth and self discovery and self love.   Therefore my uncomfortable and limited sex education in middle school, and the depiction of sex, body image, and gender in our media and culture has all inspired me to become a SESA.  I believe if I learn and help myself I will be able to help others who need my expertise.

2) What’s one of the best things about being a SESA?

One of the best things about being a SESA is all the light bulbs I see turn on above people’s heads every day.  It feels good knowing I can help someone love them self or help them love someone else a little more or even better.  I love seeing people’s creativity.

3) What are one or two tips or ideas you share with people a lot? Tell us a couple of your favorite sex toy tricks.

I believe there is not a magic tip or trick that will work for everyone but I do like to give three recomendations:

  • Loving and knowing yourself really leads to good and an all-round healthy life.  So get to know yourself by reading Urban Tantra or going to a therapist.
  • Lube Samples!  It can be fun to experiment and be your own sex scientist.  Since lots of folks have more fun with more lube – having a sexperiment date with a lover or yourself can be a great way to learn what the best lube will be for your body.
  • Ask more questions!  It takes courage to ask and confidence can be so sexy!  Ask your lover what they really REALLY want!  If you don’t have a lover then ask your self!  You might think you know what your lover wants because you asked a year ago or you have known them for so long, but we are all growing and changing all the time.   There could be a new fantasy, new toy,  or new interest you both could connect with!

 4) How has being a sex educator changed how you think about sexuality or gender? Was there anything that surprised you about that?

Since I am transgender, meaning I was diagnosed female at birth but I now identify as male, I have experienced a lot about sex and gender.  I am always discovering new things and nothing really surprises me anymore.  Though it is hard to surprise, I am still so very excited about the beautiful wide world of sex and gender.  There is such a grand spectrum of gender and as long as sex is between consenting adults there are so many ways to have, give, and perform sex.

I do have to say that it is a new thing for me to have people think I could not really help them with specific questions because I look male and they have a female related question.  They might think I could not know how to help them because I do not have personal experience with certain anatomy.   I usually reassure people by saying I have gone through many hours of sex education and training.  … Even though I want to say “Just because someone looks like they have male or female anatomy doesn’t mean they do and this fact doesn’t mean they are less human or less able to assist with a specific question about the g-spot or p-spot.”   I would never tell a customer this in the store because it might come off as rude but since we are doing personal interviews here I thought I would let it all hang out.

5) Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?

I also perform as Puck Goodfellow and you can read my blog at Puckplay.blogspot.com.
Hope to see you OUT!!!

Photo  by Dave Naz

Dr. Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He also writes, blogs, teaches workshops and university courses, presents at conferences, and trains sexuality educators. He’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and loves geeking out about sex, relationships, sex-positivity, love and shame, communities of erotic affiliation, and sexual practices and techniques of all varieties. Follow him online, on Twitter at @charlieglickman, or on Facebook.

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