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Club Vibe 2.OH – Keep It Comin’ Love

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a number of events at clubs with electronic dance music and DJ’s.

(Subscribe to my soundcloud to listen to what I’ve been enjoying.)

There is one item that I made sure to take with me on all of my adventures (well, besides earplugs), the Club Vibe 2.OH by OhMibod.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Club Vibe 2.OH, here’s what Good Vibrations has to say about it: It is a “remote-controlled, musically-motivated vibration sensation marries sound-activated technology with a neat and discreet design. Contoured to hug the body’s curves, this super sleek vibrator nestles close to the skin and fits comfortably in underwear. Use one of 5 pre-programmed vibration settings to get things buzzing, or expose the remote to the ambient sound and let the Club Vibe thump. Don’t feel like being in the drivers’ seat? Give the remote to your partner and let them call the tune the Club Vibe dances to from up to 20 feet away!”

So I usually kept the remote with me (though sometimes giving it to a partner to hold), turned on to the ambient setting which let the baseline of the music drive the activity. The sensation/vibration did not give me immediate orgasms but when the DJ played some hard house or industrial/techno it stopped me in my tracks and I eventually burst into laughter — if ya know what I mean. Every time other women in the club would see the remote they’d ask tons of questions: what is it? Where’d you get it? How much does it cost? I filled them in on all the details and I would not be surprised if they went out and bought one ASAP. Sometimes they would ask in sort of a whisper “does it go inside?” No, it sits in the cotton panel pocket of any Original Rise Hanky Panky thong panty nicely (the low rise panty has the cotton panel sewn shut).

All of this brings me to a funny story that happened last weekend.

The amount of time I spent out dancing was probably 5-6 hours a pop. I noticed on a couple of occasions, after a while, the vibrator was not on anymore. At first I thought I was wearing out the battery from a couple hours of dancing.  But each time I’ve put in a new battery in anticipation so this would NOT happen on the dance floor. Each time I could turn it back on so I concluded there was no problem with the battery. I began to joke about it with a couple of friends. My friend Mike said casually, “Maybe it finished before you?”

Ha!

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We brainstormed more of the possible solutions:

Maybe it thought, “I could stop now and maybe she won’t notice.”
Maybe it got bored. 
Maybe it got tired.
Maybe it got frustrated because it wasn’t going “in”.

But seriously, this is one of my favorite toys. It can be used in a variety of settings with or without a partner. Here are some instances in which I have tried it….

  1. Out to dinner.  Caution: if you’re at a restaurant and you are sitting on a bench with other people and your partner has the remote, beware of confusing the other patrons sitting on the bench with you. Despite the fact that the motor is extremely quiet and will likely not be heard over the noise level in the restaurant, the vibration is still powerful enough to have the whole bench wondering “why is this bench vibrating?”.
  2. Doing a Bawdy Storytelling gig in front of a live audience, set on ambient mode. This was motivation to get the crowd to laugh and make noise. And I got a “special thrill” out of how funny the rest of the storytellers were.
  3. At a Movie. I’m planning to take it with me to see the new Star Trek: Into Darkness. Explosions. Music. Chris Pine. Zachary Quinto. Bruce Greenwood. Zoe Saldana. *shudder*
  4. At a Club. Well, I’ve already described how I use it solo. You can also give the remote to a friend and let him/her decide when to turn you on.

Do yourself a favor and buy a Club Vibe 2.OH. I’m positive that you will have a great time and start to understand what all the buzz is about!

xxoo
The MamaSutra

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Sex, Drugs, and… Michael Jackson?

Here is an example that shows kids as young as 8 years old hear what we parents are saying:

My youngest Cindy is in a phase right now where she loves Michael Jackson’s music (who doesn’t, amiright?). She asked me recently, “Mom, when did Michael Jackson die?” I couldn’t remember but her next question was, “Mom, how did Michael Jackson die?” I told her what I remembered was that Michael Jackson died due to drug interactions, that he was taking prescription medicine from his doctor but some of the medicines didn’t work well together and that killed him.

Fast forward to a couple days later. I went to the doctor and was given a couple bottles of vitamin supplements. That afternoon I picked up my daughters from school. As we drove in the car, we talked about our day, each of us describing a rose (something good) and a thorn (something not so good) that happened during the day. When it was my turn I told them about my appointment and the supplements (my “rose” for the day). Cindy’s first question to me was, “Mom, do those medicines work together?” My jaw nearly hit the floor…she was listening.

Later in the week we had some friends over and we were watching “The Mindy Project.” In season 1, episode 3 (“In The Club”) there was some discussion about “roofies.” Kelly asked, “What are ‘roofies’?” My friend Marcia sat at rapt attention waiting for an answer — obviously she wanted to know as well. My friend Jean pretended there wasn’t a question. I paused the show we were watching on Hulu Plus and gave a brief description of what roofies were, keeping the information basic and at the 5th grade level.

There is nothing wrong with taking the opportunity to have a discussion in the moment. Children are most definitely listening, and when they ask is when they’re ready to know. You must be very mindful of the messages and information behind what you’re saying… and not saying. If you give misinformation, just know that eventually your children will find out the truth. My own approach is to give a very broad non-detailed yet accurate response. Then I let my children ask the questions for more detail… if they want it. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t.

This example was not sex-based per se (which is what I normally write about), but it absolutely has everything to do with talking to our children openly and honestly. I have no doubt that the messages my children received in that honesty was love and compassion from me.

Would it have been better to not share how Michael Jackson died? I don’t think so. I think we need to answer our kids when they ask. There are little lessons every day for us to share with our children. Whether it’s about sex and sexuality — or health and safety. Kids most definitely are listening. I think it was incredibly important for my children to know the truth. The same thing applies with sex.

xxoo,
The MamaSutra

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“The Sessions” – Oscar winner – You heard it here first

Recently, I had the honor of being able to see the new movie “The Sessions” (starring John Hawkes, Helen Hunt, and William H. Macy), at a film festival in my hometown.  I’m telling you right now that if this movie doesn’t sweep the Oscars, it was ROBBED!

This movie is the story of Mark O’Brien, a man who got polio at a young age and lived the rest of his life on a gurney and spent most of his days in an iron lung. He was a writer by profession and wrote an essay called “On Seeing a Sex Surrogate”.  My understanding is this essay was the inspiration for the movie.

I found myself either laughing out loud or sitting with a stream of tears running down my cheeks.  For example, at one point early in the movie Mark O’Brien tells his priest he has his heart broken and says to his priest  ”I think I need a hug”. I burst into tears.  This is one of my hot buttons: we all need touch and not all touch is sexual.

Mark O’Brien was asked to write an article on sex and disability.  In doing the assignment, he visited with people who were disabled and who were having satisfying sex lives. He was entering a completely new world because at this point in his life he was still a virgin.  This underscores to me the fact that so many people have a difficult time with sexuality and here is an entire population of people who get essentially forgotten as it relates to sex and sexuality.  How many physical therapists are trained to address the unique needs of helpful sexual positions a person can manage after an injury/illness/operation?  How many home health aides know what to do or how to react when a patient gets aroused? This is where some of my sex educator friends or I can help!

Getting back to the movie, the sex therapist Mark visits suggests he could see a sex surrogate to help him with his unique situation.  He meets the surrogate who does a great job of explaining the difference between a surrogate and a prostitute (or what I prefer to call sex worker).  The surrogate simply says “a prostitute wants your repeat business” whereas a surrogate works closely with a sex therapist and has only a limited number of sessions.  The trailer does a horrible job of confusing sex therapist/surrogate which doesn’t help mainstream America understand that there is a difference.  Most often people think of a surrogate and a sex worker/prostitute as one in the same.  They work together and he finally has his first sexual experience.  His aide asked him how he felt and Mark said, “Cleansed and victorious”.  Fuck.  I WISH I could have described my own first experience that way.

You know, I’m a sex educator who tends to lean to the radical side of sex education – I believe people should be taught about all aspects of human sexuality including pleasure.  That’s what makes me radical. I also believe people with disabilities deserve pleasure as well.  This is an area that doesn’t get enough press in the mainstream.  Sadly.

I was so happy to see so many people in the audience who used assistive devices there in the theatre to watch this film.  I have hope that this movie will be immensely popular in the mainstream and bring more awareness of sex and disability issues to the forefront.

This movie is beautiful and does a wonderful job of telling a story that needs to be told on a topic that needs to be talked about.  Do yourself a favor; Go see The Sessions.

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Talking About Sex: Parent’s Biggest Mistake?

Ever tried answering questions about sex or sexuality in 140 characters or less?

When I’m not writing or teaching sex education I usually can be found on Twitter as @TheMamaSutra.  It’s a bad habit, I know, but I love posting articles, quotes, and clips that relate to sex – specifically information, education, and acceptance.  A few months back I was asked this question by a new friend Female Underground and what followed was my best attempt to answer in a series of tweets 140 characters or less.

(If you are unfamiliar with Twitter, tweets addressed to a person begin with the person-you-are-speaking-to’s twitter handle.  It’s as if you were to say, “Jill, where are you?”  Make sense?)

 


Q:  @TheMamaSutra  What do you think the biggest mistake parents make is?

Me:  @FemUnderground Parents’ biggest mistake? Pretending nothing is going on OR making judgmental comments when they think kids aren’t listening

 

Q:  @TheMamaSutra one more ? What should you do when you find out your kid is having sex? Should you make it tough for them to do at home?

Me:  @FemUnderground I think that depends on so many things..for 1, the future relationship u want to have w ur own kid (& ur potentialgrandkid)

Me:  @FemUnderground parents can’t play ignorant & treat their kids like they dont need to know if they aren’t prepared to be grandparents.

Me:  @FemUnderground I didnt answer the 1st Q: talk to them. Find out if they are ok. Find out if it was what they hoped/expected. Find out…1/2

Me:  @FemUnderground 2/2 if they plan to do it again. Find out what exactly they are doing. Find out if they have questions. XXOO

 

Q:  @TheMamaSutra solid advice! Thank you!

Me:  @FemUnderground my pleasure. xxoo


That was it.  It’s very simple: Be there for your kids.  When they don’t do as you say (and that may be how it goes), be there for them and make sure they are ok.

 

xxoo

The MamaSutra

(r) 2012 The MamaSutra

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